Glasses Up - Toast To Changes

New sem. New haircut. New boxers. New crib. New scenery. New problems. Old bike. Old friends. Old me.

It's all good.

Okayh. Kalo ikut tradisi yang aku tengok orang buat. Bila pindah masuk rumah baru yang ada tilam, kita kena buat makan-makan dan minum-minum. Kononnya nak usir anasir-anasir yang tidak suci. Tapi aku rasa orang buat makan-makan dan minum-minum sebab nak promote rumah baru beli. Tapi usah khuatir wahai pembaca-pembaca setia tahi yang suci, rumah ni aku tak beli. Kalau aku beli, aku tak pilih rumah ni. So, tiada unsur-unsur riak-riak dalam majlis makan-makan dan minum-minum rumah baru aku ni. Tapi memandangkan aku alim orangnya, aku nak buat baca-baca fatihah ngan yassin skali. Para pembaca tahi yang suci yang dihormati dijemput hadir.

Haaaaa....
So now you're prolly hyped up. You jump off your seat to tell your friends and go like "Weh weh weh... Awang nak buat makan-makan!". And then your friends get all excited and go like "Walla-walla! Jom-jom! Tapi ktne eh?". Everything turns silent.... You, your friends, cicaks, frogs, and etc go blank. Heck, even your windows media player suddenly pauses or worst it uninstalls itself automatically. Haa... Apa yang terjadi? You ask yourself slowly in your heart coz you're too frightened to speak out. Teringat lak zaman sekolah dulu kala-kala. Ada budak-budak bajet alim yang obses dengan kepercayaan karut-marut cakap kat aku "Malaikat lalu beb. Cover bahu kanan ko dowh! Nanti dia cilok pahala ko!". Pulak dah. And now you'd prolly go like "what the fuck?".

The truth about my new crib's exact latitude and longitude remains in your head like a motion of p**n you just downloaded from *** or ****. You keep askin' where? where? where? like you know you're gonna be dead by morning and that's the only question that's gonna help you cheat death. Muahaha...

This is televised from an unknown location. You are advised not to trace this location via i.p. address or google earth. Casualties are at your own risk. The goodfellas of Tahi Yang Suci's super creative production team will not be responsible for what happens prior to your sinister deeds.


So, kalau korang betul2 nak datang, aku ingat nak buat special procedure sket. 1st, korang berkumpul kat parking lot depan v4. Pastu nnt aku kelaskan korang ikut kategori pandai masak, kategori alim-aliman, kategori yang memang sah datang nak makan je, kategori orang-orang kurang upaya, dan macam-macam lagi. Mesti la yang pandai masak masuk dulu kan diikuti yang kurang upaya dan yang reti baca yassin dengan tajwid yang betul. Yang lain-lain aku consider later ah. Pastu bukan bleh masuk gitu je. Aku blindfold korang dulu, then korang kena beratur dalam satu barisan. Pegang bahu orang depan or mana-mana part ikut suka korang ah. Then baru start berarak masuk rumah baruku... kalo barisan putus, pandai-pandai ah ko cari jalan ye.

This ain't paranoid. Just caution. Who knows, some of you might break in just to snatch a couple of stuff as souvenirs. Tahi Yang Cuti Merchandise. May the holy ceremony commence. Amin.


Till next time.
S.A.